Compatibility:  Page 2

Exception to Rule #1:  An exception to the general rule is when both people are very self directed, very assertive, very intolerant , or very inconsiderate - which leads to power struggles, angry arguments, or abusive behavior.  However, two people who are low in self direction, low in assertion, high in tolerance, and high in consideration can still experience comfort in relating. 

Second, a person low in self direction and assertiveness may continue to be comfortable with someone high in these qualities - if the "high" person is thoughtful of their needs.  The "low" person gains strength, and a feeling of security from the "high" person.  In this relationship, one becomes the leader while the other is the follower.  The leader often enjoys leading as much as the other enjoys following. 

2. Role Compatibility:  While generally a person may feel more comfortable with a friend or aquaintance who is similar to them, in an organization (company, couple, family, etc.) success usually depends upon different people performing different functions (or roles) as a team.   

In a company, this typically involves executives who are decisive and assertive - managers who follow structure while getting others to do specified tasks - sales persons who aggressively promote the product - patient yet reasonably assertive customer service representatives - detail-oriented, technical workers - manual laborers, etc.  An executive may experience incompatibility with an employee if the employee does not have the EQ characteristics necessary to excell in their job - even if they might naturally like the employee. 

In an organization, obtaining role compatibility is the priority.   Team members should be selected and developed to fill their roles, even if there is some natural comfort incompatibility.  Comfort incompatibility should then be understood and worked through.